so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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