maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
