i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
