I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
