and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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