woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
