everyone is single if you try hard enough
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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