Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize