come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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