Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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