Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
