just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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