I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
