Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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