we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
