Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
