I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
