I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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