Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
