I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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