I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
