All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
