dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
