Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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