Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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