yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
