He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
