so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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