Non-Jews are for practice
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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