told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
