What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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