you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
