Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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