Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
