I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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