just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
