he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
