wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
