omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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