do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
