Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you traded sex for a burrito?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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