so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize