mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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