During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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