Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
