There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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