I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
