giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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