id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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