when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
