Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
