Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How does it feel to date your dad?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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