you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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