dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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