Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
