I'm really into asian looking animals
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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