I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
