i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
